Winter Rain

I've never quite understood

Why it's so hard to let go.

In You I find refuge but it's

Like I can't quite cry loud enough

To shake a dusty chain from my feet.

I glance toward

The sky to see You reaching

Down for me,

And I grasp Your firm hand

Only to sink myself down once more while letting

Winter rain's cold creep into my spirit once more.

Why do You still see me?

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I've often wondered why a God who is so pure and holy allowed his Son to become flesh and bear the punishment we all deserved. Yes, obviously the typical answer that comes to mind for everybody is "out of love for us all." But why? That's what I don't get. God is holy--untainted by anything. He must punish sin. As a triune God, He sent a Son who was part of Himself to die a horrible death. For what? Someone like me who still is a professional at hiding things and straying from what I know to be right?

I still can't believe it, even after all these years. I know this is the ultimate example of love. This four letter word that is thrown around so lightly and often abused in our culture today. Shouldn't this be something that we give unconditionally to people? In Donald Miller's book "Blue Like Jazz," he makes a valid point that a lot of Christians are conditional lovers. That is to say they only love someone based on a condition: a lot of time it depends on the offering goal at their church that month. God wasn't selective in whom He loved that day Jesus died on the cross--so why should we be? There was sin in the life of every person that Christ came in contact with during His time on earth, yet he showed them the undying love that was deserving of this person. Even in my own life, why do we find it so hard to let that Love which set us free shine through? That's something we should all work on.

"But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: while we were still sinners Christ died for us." -Romans 5:8