You'd think by now I'd learn that when I ask God to teach me something, I'd learn to just take the easy way. Does it EVER work out that way for anybody? Something tells me that's a no. Something I still wrestle with is just taking my mind off of everything surrounding me and putting it on God. When God made something clear to me, I knew that the decision I'd make would resound and hurt. The thing is though, I can't be sad for making that call. Sure, I can be sad for the hurt I may have caused, but I'm definitely not regretting what I did. Everything that ensued afterwards only served a higher purpose of strengthening me--although during the entire ordeal I was ready to collapse and just give in.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that through all of this, God had me. It wasn't just something I'd tell myself to make me feel better. It was true. Even though I felt like I ready to crack, I knew that it wasn't permanent. I've been to a place where the dark chokes even the pain from your heart and still tries to break you further. This time I knew through all the trials and suffering, God was leading me by the hand and literally carrying me through. I couldn't do it all alone. We should never underestimate God and what He is capable of. I prayed that God would show me how strong He could be--and I know that the amazing strength I saw was just a faint glimpse of what He can do. In a matter of days, my perspective on many things changed, a lot of it for the better. I've realized now that I can't stay stationary with any aspect of my life forever, and that there is a time and place for everything (...then again, I think everybody realizes that at some point in their lives). When things are literally turned upside down while you helplessly watch, sometimes it's exactly what you need. For me, at least, it was a strong, clear of Who was in control.