Faith. It's a word that is used in almost every aspect of Christianity. What is it, exactly? I didn't have a clue about it for nearly 19 years. When Christ took my life from my frustrated, exhausted, and miserable hands, I got to see it at work. For me to talk about it now is easy; when I had none I could have given you some generic or C.S. Lewis penned definition and then later pondered over it, wondering how to make this elusive faith thing happen. We see so many examples of faith throughout Scripture-Abraham accepting God's commandment to sacrifice his son Isaac so that through him his future generations would know peace; Noah, being ridiculed and mocked built an ark for an impending flood that he couldn't see and he ended up carrying his family to safety; the prime example being Jesus. As part of a Triune God he knew what had to be done, but even then it took a mountain of faith to face his final days before the crucifixion.
The past few months have been quite hard-even days where I've felt like my own faith has been battered and even gone. I think a lot of my problem was yet again trying to cope with everything this world throws at me my way. I'm kinda stupid-you'd have thought after nineteen years or so of pulling my own way I'd have figured out NOT to do that. Au contraire. When I do less of the talking and more of the listening, I find mercy. I find peace. I find happiness. I find purpose. I find my savior. I find eternity with Him. "Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." I'm one hundred percent sure of what I hope for: eternity with a Savior who loves me enough to know me by name when I deserved nothing but damnation. I'm incredibly certain of what I do not see: I don't need to see God to know that He's there. He's listening; or that he knows every thought, need, want, and heartache that I have.
I no longer feel the need to be like Gideon and demand proof of God's faithfulness to me. There are times where I feel like I'm blind haven't a clue as to what God has planned, but I know that He has a plan for me which will be revealed in His time, not mine. Seriously...at times I really want to be like "THIS SUCKS and this needs to happen NOW" but then I'm reminded again that I will never be left or forsaken, so I needn't worry.
Sometimes I wonder if those who knew the old me can see what mercy has done. There are definite cases when I see that they can't. I've been completely transformed and even though I have my ups and downs like everyone else (...like whoa. The past 6 months have been a freaking DOWN), I'm not who I was. I now have a walk with Christ-something I never had before. Through faith, even when I can't see, I've come this far. I've come far from where I was on 20 May 2008. I don't want to be tomorrow where I am today. I can't wait to see where I'll be in five or ten years.
I knew that this time was different from the other million times I'd given my life to Christ. For the first time on 3 November 2007...I had hope. I had faith that this fallen world and life is only temporary and eternity would be spent with a Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Like I said, I can't wait to see where I'll be in five or ten years. I can safely ask myself that now, because I know that even though this life will pass away, God and His love NEVER will. Ever. Whatever I'm doing on 20 May 2019, He'll be there with me. Hm...when I'm 30 going on 31 (...oh dear.) what will I be like? Will I be married? If so, how many kids will I have? How will I be serving God and spreading the message of his undending love for everybody? I can't wait to see.
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