Atop an Indigo Horizon

For once in my life, I would like to just take in a deep breath, and not have to let out any tension. Any worry. Any hurt. Any sorrow. Anything other than peace. The more I think about it, there's so much stuff in my past that I've never been able to truly let go of. I even have a hard time letting little things go to God. The thing to say now is "it's okay to have doubts or trust issues when it comes to our relationship with God." But the people who say it have obviously overcome these things--well, either that, or they're just completely delusional. Is it really okay, though? This is completely lame, but I was burned by people so many times in my life that I have a hard time even trusting God now.

I think it's a mixture of things. It might not be the outcome I desire; it may not be answered; it may be a difficult path to get where I need to be. Add this trust issue to the fact that as a Christian we live under a microscope, and you get me. I don't know how or why my friends put up with me some days--I periodically go through bouts where I think they're all fed up with me. So, my question amidst all of this is...how do we overcome human inhibitions and completely trust God with every aspect of our lives? I don't think it's a question to which any person on this planet has an answer. Sure, it's easy to give people advice and simply tell them to trust and wait on God, but when it's us in a jam, we're the ones demanding results.

I guess that my advice to anybody asking the same question that I am would be to simply look around you. Even though you may think that the world is maneuvering against you, seek out what God has already put in your life. From that, see the beauty of what He has blessed you with. If you see beauty in that, think of the unimaginable splendor that we could all be blessed with when we follow His perfect plan which was crafted with love. He has entrusted us with these small glimpses of beauty like friends who are so close that they are closer than family, watching a sun dip below the indigo horizon while atop a mountain, parents who have as much love for their adult son as they did they brought him home from the hospital, or seeing teens stop what they're doing to include another who may be too shy to include themselves.

The Bible tells us in the book of Jeremiah that the Lord knows the plans He has laid out for us are to prosper us and not to harm us. Sure, the plans may seem hellish at times, but is it really anything we can't handle? If it was something that we think we can't handle, then God has us right where he wants us. Really, it's not about us trying to handle a situation. It's about us looking to the Sovereign of all, whether it be a trouble or a praise.

Wait a second. Did I just answer my own question? Him. Interesting how God works these things out. The process of applying this kind of stuff is where it gets tough. But thankfully, God only wants faithfulness, not perfection.